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Townies Learn about Foxy Woxy

Tom Winnifrith
Wednesday 14 November 2012

I read in the Metro (picked up on the train) a shock story “Police! I’ve been outfoxed”. According to reporter Tariq Tahir “ We’ve heard of feral youths causing trouble on city streets – but now there is a new breed of criminal. An audacious fox mugged a mother of two as she was on her way home from the supermarket, making off with her bag of groceries.”

Tahir says the “bushy tailed bandit” appeared on the footpath ahead of 46 year old Louise Power, then sniffed her bag full of Turkey twizzlers and then started walking after the Sidcup resident. Ms Power swirled her handbag but foxy woxy sat up at her and snarled. So she ran away and as she did so foxy jumped up and bit the shopping bag so she dropped it.

So foxes are now mugging middle aged ladies in the suburbs. Clearly Tahir, like most townies, thought sweet little foxy woxy was a fluffy little creature only fat, inbred, sexist/racist/homophobic Tory Squires who fly the evil Union Flag hated as they pursued them on horse. For the townies, Foxy can do no wrong.

I rather view this as a sign that this fox is becoming less of a hardened crim. Where I grew up foxes were serial murderers (of our chickens). These days they are just occasional muggers. At this rate within a few years they will only engage in white collar crime and pick up the odd speeding ticket.

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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