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I warm to Nigel Farage after pathetic attack in Telegraph

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- Tom Winnifrith

As official attack poodle for David Cameron, the Daily Telegraph has today had a go at UKIP and its leader Nigel Farage.

Any mockery of UKIP has to be balanced by due respect. The low handicappers are now the only game in town when it comes to anti-establishment Right-wing politics. They hold 12 MEPs in the European Parliament and took 3.1 percent in the 2010 general election. If we had proportional representation, UKIP would probably own a batch of MPs and be a querulous part of the coalition. Smoking would be permitted in the House of Commons and the national anthem would be played in cinemas. Augusto Pinochet would feature on the £5 note.

So Farage believes that his movement stands a genuine chance of subverting the morally compromised Lib Dems and emerging as the new third party. But he’s mistaken if he believes that swapping the pound symbol for a Bentley or a bull dog will do the trick. UKIP still needs to confront that golf club stereotype.

Well I guess that changing that stereotype is going to be simple when the Daily Telegraph presents such a mature and balanced analysis of its main policies isn’t it?

The Torygraph continues:

Nige” is an anti-politician. He visits lap dancing clubs, smokes, drinks and is alleged to have had an affair with a Latvian woman he met in a pub in Biggin Hill. The ordinariness defuses the potential extremism of UKIP’s manifesto and injects some real world outrage into politics.

You note the use of the word “potential” next to extremism. It is not as if UKIP actually has a manifesto yet but let’s just say that it could potentially be extreme. As for what Farage gets up to in his spare time, who gives a damn? I am sure that the other three party leaders think that a rip-roaring night out is a dinner party in Islington discussing “The Spirit Level.”

If you had to be stranded on a desert island with any of the four party leaders who would it be? Nige of course. A couple of days with any of the other three and you would be swimming off into the shark infested waters as Cameron/Clegg or Milliband droned on about how building an escape raft could wait until we had agreed whether our desert Island had an elected upper chamber and same sex marriage or not. Even if we did build a raft, Cameron, Clegg and Milliband would probably dither about getting on board until they had worked out how they could claim a second home allowance for the island.

As for what does UKIP stand for? Well I am not sure that I really know. And I do not care enough to want to know, before any UKIP activists bombard me with information.

I do know that it is the one party that would not lie about referendum promises, that does not and never supported joining the Euro and thinks that we should stop pissing away £150 billion a year by staying in the EU. I gather it wants to cut taxes and Government spending and while it seems to have more than its fair share of crackpots, Farage is generally pretty good on civil liberties. And his party shares my (I know obsessive) loathing of speed cameras. That it has no MPs as of yet is a good thing, given that those who do sit in Westminster are still claiming £250,000 a week in expenses. But they are worth every penny are they not?

I cannot say that I am that enthused about any of the parties, but the Torygraph has today done a pretty good job with me in acting as a recruiting agent for Farage and his lot.

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