I want to make it clear that I've not propositioned a lesbian for 25 years

My friend Elaine tweets out that all straight men love lesbians. I think she extrapolates from the fact that we all love her, the specific, to the general. I am not sure she has much to go on in the way of first hand experience to speak for all straight men.

But it could have been different had she not cruelly rebuffed my advances one cold night in the early nineties. Being naive I did not realise that the apple of my eye that night was not into men at all. That realisation came a lot later. But it was, I think, the last time I tried to chat up a lesbians. It is just kind of futile.

Of course there was also my good friend Abbe Aronson, the woman who broke my heart 30 years ago. She too is now a lesbian. I should say that her coming out was a good decade after turning me into a devastated wreck. But that is just two cases of my failure to progress a relationship with a lesbian. I really don't think that one can extrapolate this to a wider trend.

My late godfather had more of a trend. His first, indeed only, wife is now out. And then the mother of his daughter decided she was a lesbian. I think I remember him saying that his next major relationship ended for similar reasons. Life can be jolly peculiar.