Women's tennis has been lacking something for the past couple of years... that is to say a woman who is not only incredibly good at hitting the ball but is also jaw droppingly good looking. The problem is that Maria Sharapova who fits the bill on both counts was caught cheating by using a performance enhancing drug.
You will remember that US resident Maria took meldonium, a drug that is only prescribed in Russia and is not even legal in the USA, and which is meant to be used only for a few months to increase blood flow for folks with conditions like angina. It also massively boosts the performance of athletes which is why Maria took it for ten years citing a family history of diabetes. Yeah right. The doping bodies banned the drug and Maria failed to spot that and got caught.
She says it was all an innocent mistake and she just wanted to stop getting diabetes. That is to say she has shown no contrition whatsoever for cheating, gaining an artificial edge by pumping drugs into her body. Her line, which is effectively the Sir Bradley Wiggins line, is that the drugs she took was not illegal and any performance enhancement was merely a fluke and unintended consequence. Sir Brad may have boasted that he was illness free in a year when he won the Tour de France but he took drugs in case he might have caught an illness so that is, apparently, legit.
If Sir Brad was a Chinese swimmer we, in this country, would view him with contempt not as a national icon though he appears to have acted entirely within the law. Sharapova behaved in the same way but because meldonium was, after she had abused it for ten years, finally outlawed, she was found to have cheated at the Australian open. The fact is that she gamed her way to an unfair advantage for ten years. She won titles by taking drugs.
Had Sharapova looked like the back end of a bus and been ranked number 37 in the world she might just have received what she deserved, that is to say a life ban. That is the only way you deter others. And anyone caught should also - like Lance Armstrong - lose all titles won during their career. But Maria Sharapova is box office. Look at the photos in yesterday's papers after she beat the No 2 seed in the US open. Hell's teeth. She is fit. That body, glistening with sweat. It is the stuff of male fantasy. And thus Tennis celebrates her return.
The great, but now sadly lacking in judgement, Chris Evert said Tennis "needed" Maria back. If that is the case it is a sorry reflection on the women's game. It is also a sad reflection about how money drives sport. Money matters more than honesty and integrity to those running tennis and sadly the fans seem happy to play along. Just as they do in watching The Tour de Drugs and cheering on Sir Bradley, the Great British hero, or in packing out the London Stadium to watch the dope fuelled World Athletics Championship. You can bet the ranch that half the athletes there as well as most of the riders jostling with Sir Brad are using substances which are, like meldonium before 2016, totally legal but which will in years to come be banned.
But that fuels new records and that brings in more money so who cares? At least in Athletics our heroes, like the sprinter Justin Gatlin, a man banned twice for drugs cheating but now back and crowned World Champion, are running faster or throwing further. In tennis it is just the long legs and toothy smile of shameless Maria that matters. It is about how she looks and not about pushing the boundaries of human achievement..
As I noted when she was caught, her rivals were loathe to call for more serious punishment. Why? many of them game the system too and are happy for such a lenient precedent to be set. The rest know that lovely Maria's presence brings money to the game. It was gamesmanship or greed or both that caused such a woeful response across the game.
As Maria won the photographers jostled for position to get the best angle showing sweat on a bit of shapely breast escaping her tight outfit hugging that gorgeous body. The crowd went wild. Maria cried. She has got away with it. And the world carried on as normal.