Cheryl Cole – Time for a Boney M?

It is a little known fact but Bobby Farrell (the bloke in Boney M) was not a very good singer. In fact it was not his voice on any of the group’s hit records. But he had the right looks for the age and so he whirled and twirled in all the videos. Sadly, in 2010, Farrell stopped whirling and twirling aged 61 as a result of a heart attack, suffered in St Petersburg. Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia’s Greatest Love machine etc etc etc.

And now we turn to Cheryl Cole who is a pretty lass. She appears to have a penchant for dodgy men but, to date, the worst thing I have said about her is that she appears never to perform live but always to mime when promoting her latest (utterly forgettable) songs. I am afraid that I now say something worse as a result of hearing her sing live for Her Majesty last night. Cheryl pet: please go back to miming. I am sure you were just having a bad night and as a result appeared tone deaf and unable to hit a single perfect note and that you normally have an angelic singing voice which needs no re-mixing at all in the studio. But right now I cannot help but think of Bobby Farrell.