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8 Per Cent Yields from Liverpool – Obviously Spam says gmail

Tom Winnifrith
Wednesday 29 August 2012

Once in a while I look in my gmail spam box to see what has been filtered out. I am delighted to see that I have won 1.5 million quid in the Euro Lottery several times. For a bloke who has never bought a lottery ticket in his life I do seem blessed. Rather that is a good call by gmail – it is a con and sits rightly in the spam box.

There are a number of emails from West Africa also promising me great riches. I am contacted by Mr Dorso Sandwidi from Burkino Fasso who asks me to not reveal what he is up to. Sorry Dorso I cannot resist. Does anyone ever fall for hogwash like this?

Hello,

I am Mr. Dorso Sandwidi from Burkina Faso in West African region. I work with the bank of Africa here in the nation. I am writing you from my office that which will be of an immense benefit to both of us. In my department, being the account manager I discovered an abandoned sum of $18 million USA Dollars (Eighteen million Us Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of the bank late foreign customers, a German citizen who unfortunately lost his life in a plane crash.

The choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live, particularly due to the senility of the transaction and the confidentiality herein. Now our bank has been waiting for any of the relatives to come-up for the claim but nobody has done that. I personally have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for many years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin / beneficiary to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at 18 Million Dollars can be done and paid to you for both of us.

This will be disbursed or shared between the both of us in these percentages, 55% to me and 35% to you while 10% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of transferring. I have secured necessary information’s and the certificate of deposit that can be used to back up this claim we are making.

All I require now is your honest Co-operation, Confidentiality and trust to enable us sees this transaction through. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Having gone through a methodical search, I decided to contact you hoping that you will find this proposal interesting. Please on your confirmation of this message and indicating your interest, I will furnish you with more information.

Endeavour to let me know your decision rather than to keep me waiting or exposing me.

Regards,

Mr. Dorso Sandwidi

Much though I am tempted to pretend to be a kraut whose uncle jetted around West Africa, I think I can resist this one.

And then I find in my spam box an email from Interactive Investor (iii) offering me 5 year 8% assured yields from Liverpool. Yeah right. Iii is a respected firm, but clearly gmail sees “Liverpool” and “8% assured yield” and views it in the same way it views “Eurolottery win” or “$18 unclaimed million in Burkino Fasso/Nigeria bank account”. Actually that is probably a bit harsh. On Burkino Fasso.

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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