Historically England prepares for a big tournament thus: Appoint a new national saviour as manager on a multi year telephone number contract. Talk up the Premiership prima donnas as being the heirs to Hurst, Peters and Moore. The nation expects. Go to the tournament and play atrociously but scrape through to a knock out stage and lose on penalties as soon as possible.
This time it is different. The national manager is someone no-one thinks is much good. I presume that he is still on a multi –year telephone number contract. But everyone knows that the national side is pretty mediocre and therefore expectations are low. Today’s dire performance against a second rate team from a country where the average age is 87 and where the only thing they excel at is child molestation shows just how dreadful England are. And so expectations for Euro 2012 are very low indeed.
And so might we expect a different outcome to normal? Sadly i suspect not. Expectations are low because England are not very good. If they make it past the group stage that will be a pleasant surprise but they will not make it much further. Perhaps the only difference will be that since Roy Hodgson was dealt such a duff deck to start with he might not be sacked within days of the team taking an early plane home.
As an Ireland supporter I know that my team will crash and burn. But who cares? It was a miracle that we qualified in the first place. The only joy I can usually take from tournaments is that of watching England crash and burn after arriving with such high hopes and everyone talking about its “golden generation.” The, justifiably, low sense of expectation in England this time means that in 2012 even this petty and mean spirited pleasure of schadenfreude will be denied me. A summer of football misery is thus in prospect.
To be followed by Autumnal misery at Upton Park. Woe is me.