There are different forms of guilt that I feel as I sit in the Greek Hovel. The worst is as I peer outside and see the sun shining on a glorious day. Yet I will be heading back inside soon to finish another article on shares, on Quindell or whatever.
In side of me something associate sun and the smell of a Greek hillside with holidays. What on earth am I doing spending holiday time hammering away at my PC? The Mrs makes that point every time we go on holiday and it is a fair one.
I have not fully made the mental leap that this is not a holiday. The Mrs has bought a house which is one of our two homes. The nature of my work means that sometimes I will live in Bristol and sometimes I live here in the Mani, Greece. This is my home and just as in Bristol I am working from home. And so gradually the feelings of guilt about now being down at the beach or just lazing around doing nothing are going.
As it happens I am not a great one for the beach and sitting around doing nothing does not make me relaxed. I hate it!
Here are other feelings of guilt. Work on the house is a bit behind schedule. Do not get me wrong, enormous progress has been made but just not as much as I would have liked. The wildlife are excluded from the redoubt and it is cooled by my fan. I have a shower and the internet. And gradually the wildlife exclusion zone around the house is expanding. But I am behind my self-imposed schedule. I feel guilt on that front. But then I feel guilty about Ben Turney, Steve Moore, Darren Atwater and Princess Leia if I do not pull my weight for ShareProphets. They are working in far less pleasant surroundings I cannot abandon them can I?
It’s a lose lose situation. However I spend my time there is guilt. But if I have to be somewhere feeling guilty, there are far worse places to be. And I am now accepted almost entirely that this is my home, this is not a holiday.