Kerry McCarthy has just become the seventh member of the shadow cabinet to quit in a palace coup designed to oust our democratically elected leader comrade Corbyn. Kerry is my local MP and so as a loyal member of the people's party, since last summer, I am mortified.
How dare Comrade Kerry suggest that Jezza is out of touch. This is the woman who said meat eaters should be treated like smokers. How exactly does she think that resonates with core Labour voters in the grim Northern welfare safaris or even back in Bristol East? That is the sort of crass shite the metropolitan elite has been spouting for years which has managed to alienate the same folks Labour was created to represent.
And comrade Kerry thinks comrade Corbyn is out of touch? She must have been smoking the sort of stuff Will Straw used to trade in before he started dealing in smears
In Bristol East, as elsewhere, loyal party members voted for comrade Corbyn to be the dear leader last year. Now MPs are trying to subvert that democratic wish. Traitors! The Dear leader must act swiftly to deal with the Kulaks such as comrade McCarthy in order to protect the revolution. There is no time to be lost. Onwards to victory.