I came back from Greece on July 2nd and then spent barely five days away from Shipston in that month. My step mother died on the 14th and was buried nine days later. My father, in his old world way, did not "emote" as all around him wept. He said almost nothing. I have no idea what he was thinking or is thinking. One big question was how, when he was finally left alone, would he cope? I worried.
On the first day after I headed back to Bristol, friends visiting from New York popped in to buy him lunch at the Horseshoe, his Sunday lunching pub. My sister T swooped on day two. On day three I got a call. My father had fallen and was in agony as he waited for the ambulance. He could not move.
His replacement hip had popped out. The folks at Warwick Hospital operated within two days and he now sits there recovering and reading some left of centre books dropped off by sister N.. My step sister F and both sisters saw him in the early days. I headed up Friday and saw him Saturday and Sunday. On Monday he was alone but I'm back for a swift visit today. My main purpose in heading North is to assemble a special bed which arrived yesterday so that my father can get a discharge with the NHS happy that he can live downstairs. He won't be climbing stairs for a while.I shall also be dropping off some more suitable reading material: The Reagan Diaries, Paxman on the English and, to please my smug liberal sisters both of whom are married to half Germans, a good tome on how the Krauts were all in on it with Adolf "Hitler's Willing Executioners."
In a pleasant symmetry my father's loathsome cat will also be hospitalised today after coming second in a fight with a larger moggy. Kind neighbours look after the wretched Obie, a cat who hates all humans other than my father whom she adores. Fingers crossed both Dad and Obie will be home and on the mend by later this week. All siblings and step siblings will then be on holiday so I shall be in Shipston once the intensive 72 hour NHS home care period is over. We will bodge along. We will make a few changes to the routines in Shipston and see how things go.
There are six of us. My step siblings hav insisted they want to do all they can for a man who was married to their mother for 28 years. They are all wonderful. There are tensions elsewhere. I have let rip by email a couple of times, feeling that sister T is sledging me or has sledged my father. T emailed my wife two weeks before our wedding day urging her to call things off. To say that we have a close relationship would be an untruth. We disagree about the way forward. That is all for the future. Meanwhile we muddle on by.
My fathers friend M was meant to visit Dad in hospital yesterday but had an "off" day so my father had no visits. M explains his "ageing issues" when I drive him from Leamington to Shipston to see my father or by phone. Getting older has its advantages. Getting old seems pretty grim. I cant say I relish the prospect.