For the third day, despite receiving clear instructions to deliver the loathsome Guardian Newspaper to my father here in Shipston and despite promising to do so, the Newsagent has failed. And that means that I must again head down to the shop in a few minutes to pick up the rag.
I shall explain loudly that it is not for me but for my deluded lefty of a father lest anyone in the store recognise me. And naturally I shall be wearing my Hillary for Prison T-shirt. But it is still really embarrassing and also makes me feel just dirty having to pick up the awful publication and carry it home along Sheep Street.
My father has always said that he heads to the White Bear only to read the Telegraph "for balance" Since he is - pro tem - unable to walk to the boozer, I have suggested that he achieve that balance by ordering that the Torygraph or Mail be delivered here (or not as the case may be) along with the Guardian. He appears to think that an unnecessary expenditure.
Thus his "balanced" media commentary is now the BBC, its sister publication The Guardian and for added militancy ghastly Channel 4 news - we watch at least five news programmes a day. Thank heavens he has me here to counter such a barrage of lies but think of me today, humiliated again at the Newsagent and then subjected to a 24 hour assault by the dreadful liberal media elite. This is true filial devotion.