Bird

382 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Oxford Nanopore could halve and I still would not buy

In today’s bearcast I look at Blackbird (BIRD), Canadian Overseas Petroleum (COPL) and Oxford Nanopore (ONT) I have amended my earlier piece on Monkey and VSA. This is so humiliating, it seems that I really am a shareholder in his awful company although I have no idea why.

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385 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: can Kefi ever please ouzo man and the whining shareholders?

Enjoy the heatwave, it is still raining here in Greece. I have done a podcast on that and on the BBC’s claim that the Hellenic Republic will soon be a desert HERE. Then it is onto Kefi Gold & Copper (KEFI), Wandisco (WAND), Blackbird (BIRD), Eden Research (EDEN) and Invinity (IES), currently being ramped by Andrew Monk in Canada.

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386 days ago

Blackbird spaffs ten grand a day: 6 nil to the Cockney Boys, Malcolm Stacey you’re not singing anymore, etc, etc

I am sorry to sound a bit like a football yob but West Ham’s storming start to the season brings out the worst in me. Especially when Malcolm’s oft loved up Blackbird (BIRD) has just served up such utterly piss poor interims. As ever with this “licensor, developer and seller of the market-leading cloud video editing platform” it is all jam tomorrow but cold cabbage water today. If Blackbird is the market leader God only knows how its less “successful” competitors survive.

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477 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Gosh there are some dumb Wandisco owning morons out there & should we push Steve O'Hara into the river Dee at Sharestock

I start with a question: £100 + 3 points or a speed awareness course by Zoom? Then I look at the track record of the new bird CEO at BT (BT.A) and ask why she is worth £1.1 million ( plus up to 200% bonus) a year? Then Wandisco (WAND), Chill Brands (CHLL), Optibiotix (OPTI), Skinbiotherapeutics (SBTX) and IOG (IOG)

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500 days ago

Picture article: Miss Netherlands 2023, the bigot test - would you rather date the winner or the bird who came second?

I am afraid that like, I suspect any straight guy or lesbian reading this article, the answer is that we’d rather date the bird on the right who came second. Not only is she far more of a looker but….

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502 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Optibiotix is a BUY & Thames Water makes me sound like a Guardian reading commie

I start with the scandal and it is a scandal at Thames Water even if the greedy trougher of an ex CEO was a bird. Sure diversity blah, blah, blah. Then it is onto a reader request on Gemfields (GEM), Predator Oil & Gas (PRD), Seed Innovations (SEED) – its own worst enemy – and finally Optibiotix (OPTI) and Skinbiotherapeutics (SBTX). At least listen to what I have to say before abusing me!

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547 days ago

Blackbird – just when will Malcolm admit that this is a dog?

For almost two years my old friend Malcolm Stacey has been recommending that you buy shares in Blackbird (BIRD). Back in May 2021 the shares were c35p. Today – after more bad news – they are 7p. I warned explicitly HERE that Malcolm should walk away, I still think that he should.

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609 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: I just don't understand what Malcolm sees in Blackbird?

I start with more ranting about Beechwood Nurseries. Then it is on to: Kefi Gold & Copper (KEFI) – more blood pressure issues - the Silverwood (SLWD), VSA (VSA), Andrew Monk and Lush scandal, Wildcat Petroleum (WCAT) MGC Pharmaceutics (MXC), Fevertree (FEVR) and then Malcolm’s strange love affair with Blackbird (BIRD) which I cannot fathom at all.  

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1157 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Stagecoach and National Express, how times change

I start with one big story, the Stagecoach (SGC) & National Express (NEX) bid talks. The other big story is the word “bird” being dubbed sexist at an insane Barclays (BARC) employment tribunal which I cover HERE. I also look at Versarien (VRS) ahead of its AGM, Chill Brands (CHLL) ahead of its AGM and at regulatory issues for Eurasia (EUA) and Deepverge (DVRG) where the wrongdoing is as plain as day.

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1493 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Vela is today's Covid ramp but as a supposed beneficiary I say it is all bollocks

I speak as a type 2 diabetes sufferer, today’s Covid ramp from Vela (VELA) is total bollocks. I also cover stinky share dumping by the Trainline (TRN) bird, Petra Diamonds (PDL), where I am vindicated again but not holding my breath for BBMs to apologise, Wishbone Gold (WSBN), Panthera Resources (PAT) and POS Mosman Oil & Gas (MSMN) – now in the Minus 99% club. Time for boardroom bonuses all round I reckon, as it places again.

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1554 days ago

Woke Britain – it is ching ching for the 1% and you and I pay for it: Meet Sandra Bates

I fully expect to be slated as a misogynist old geezer for saying this but the woke revolution is again and again merely facilitating the transfer of wealth from the 99% to the 1%. Meet Sandra Bates. She is a busy bird…

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1639 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Darren Atwater & some bird from Brooklyn (who probably also has a beard) spout lefty post Covid shite

I start with one of Darren’s long reads which offers a post Covid plan for the restaurant sector. The author obviously has not got a clue about what being an entrepreneur means and about how business works. But this sort of nonsense is mainstream. In a similar vein I discuss board room greed and stupidity at Lloyds (LLOY) before moving onto how you deal with serial failures & pigs, reference the main troughers at Iconic (ICON). I start with a row with my neighbout who thinks my Woodlarks training threatens her social distancing and will see her dog kidnapped. I despair. I shall be walking past her house 7 times this afternoon. As you consider that treat please donate to rogue bloggers now as we reach 29% of target. Please give HERE

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2912 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Speaking at length about AIM fraud to a bird from Bloomberg

She was horrified. I am not sure she agreed with my line that the mainstream press were part of the problem not the solution but she agreed that AIM had its issues. On the bearcast today I look at Red Leopard (RLH), Formation Group (FRM), Mobile Streams (MOS) and its charming CEO - Andalas (ADL) - whose CEO is a tosser - Strat Aero (AERO), Finnaust (FAM), Inspirit (INSP), Plus 500 (PLUS), Advanced Oncotherapy (AVO)), TrakM8 (TRAK) and Cloudtag (CTAG) plus one way of looking at it which sees 300 companies on AIM as a sort of fraud.

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3049 days ago

A Reason Not to Visit the Mother-in-law: calling a woman a "bird" in Nottinghamshire now a hate crime

Nottinghamshire Police Force ,led by the admirable Sue Fish, and working with the Nottingham Women's Centre has become the first UK police force to classify sexual harassment as a "hate crime" but what the Nottingham Rozzers define as harassment is terrifying. As the Mother-in-Law lives in Nottingham I must now steer well clear of her because I am - in that County - now guilty, on a regular basis, of acts which can constitute hate crime.

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3855 days ago

A last bitter taste of Greece

I watch West Ham beat Spurs, chat to a pleasant Anglo Greek bird who asks to borrow a lighter and turns out to be the daughter of a woman who has met my Dad in the scholarly study of Northern Epirus and it is off to the airport.  I know that it is a fixed fare but the driver starts the meter running.

We arrive and the clock says just under 26 Euro. Manfully he adds in a multiple of the tolls we have paid and we are still only at 31 Euro. So he turns round and having logged the 31 Euro as a print off he says “fixed fare 35 Euro” and shows me the a laminated card laughing.

I know full well that had we had more traffic and the total been 40 Euro he’s have chanced his arm and asked me for 40 Euro because most tourists just pay. That is why he set the meter running for a fixed fare. As it happens the total despite his toll swindle is only 31 Euro so: I pay the 35 Euro. he declares 31 Euro for tax purposes (if that) and 4 Euro disappears into the black economy. I am afraid that this remains the Greek way. Too many folks here think that swindling a foreigner and cheating the tax man is all part of the game.

I accept that it is the Greek way. The taxi driver was just a laughing wanker. I know that. I do not bear a grudge against Greece or the Greek people. I love it here and will be back soon. But one day folks here will have to learn that taxes are not optional and that swindling foreigners so brazenly is not a way to win long term friends.

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3990 days ago

Lunch with Alecto – and the Playboy PR bird

That headline got your attention? Read on. 

There have been too many lunches this month.  I look forward with relish to a January spent away from London living the simple life and detoxing. One of the more illuminating lunches was with Mark Jones of Alecto Minerals (ALO).

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4061 days ago

My acid trip continues as I become an Islamic spiritual mentor

Life is one long bizarre acid trip. I return to London and our quirky Celtic Italian restaurant in Clerkenwell enjoys its best Wednesday in history. I am sitting here listening to Despina Vandi having just sent colourful James off to bed and am now reflecting on my new role as an Islamic spiritual mentor.

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4080 days ago

Chitter Chatter – the Libertarian Phone Shop on Leather Lane

My handset is bust and so I had to buy a new one – anyone who has tried to text me in vain over the past week you can now text away as thanks to Chitter Chatter on Leather Lane I am now once again in communication. I wandered in wearing a Time To Leave T-shirt and the cute Asian bird behind the counter asked me to explain. At which point she proudly said she was a supporter of the Libertarian party.


Off we went. The bird, her colleague and I. The NHS, Ron Paul, Welfare, Starbucks and tax, we covered it all. What an enlightened phone shop it is. If you ever need a new handset, served by a cute & enlightened bird, show your support you know where to go. 

To engage in conversation with good looking young ladies of an enlightened disposition you can buy your very own “good looking young ladies of an enlightened disposition magnet” It’s Time to Leave T-shirt here

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4101 days ago

A few thoughts on financial PR people, moral compass and how they view me

I am not sure that those singled out for praise will appreciate it coming from me. Neither will those who receive rightful opprobrium in what follows – my mind this afternoon turns to the world of financial PR. The dark side.

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4102 days ago

A day when friends popped in again and again and again

Perhaps they were all psychic and sensed pending news but Clerkenwell's finest celtic Italian restaurant Real Man Pizza was a buzz all day yesterday. First up was blog reader Gareth to whom I promised a Piss off Argentina T-shirt in a caption contest a while ago. We will not go into details as to how much of a while. Gareth was in town, popped in for lunch and was – as you can see – presented with his shirt by myself (wearing my Sod off Spain T-shirt which is getting stacks of positive comments). You can buy both shirts only HERE

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4111 days ago

The Greek bird, Alex Giachetti, Evil's mate, Jim Mellon's PR man - what a total blur

I am smashed. 36 hours on the lash has taken its toll. Tomorrow Jim Ellerton will be leaving Sefton in abject disgrace. Seven months of corporate bullying is at an end.

Today has seen an alocohol fuelled blur of activity.  Jim Mellon's PR man was here boozing at 8.30 AM and also at 11 PM, a mate of Evil's popped in and an ex RSH PR head honcho was on the lash as well. There were some very cute models hanging out at RMPC tonight  and some Australian bloke tried to get a bit too friendly with me but got no joy. I enjoyed extensive table dancing with a Greek bird. Champagne, martini, lager, bitter, red wine, lemoncello, ouzo, whiskey, and now it is New Order blasting in my ear. I am not in a good state. Do not tell my deluded lefty's parents'!

Tomorrow we discuss the damages Sefton/Pinsent Masons owes to me & the Rebel Alliance and the deluded lefty bird arrives in London so due to hangover/a need to focus on what really matters (i.e. the deluded lefy) it will be light/zero blogging.

 For now, off to bed. I win. Fuck you Jim Ellerton. Fuck You Pinsent Masons.

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4111 days ago

Sefton Victory celebrations underway & the 666 shirt goes on sabattical

You should always end on a high. And I am on a high right now. Last night I exposed Jim Ellerton for the fraud and liar he is. The Nomad to Sefton (Allenby) has told me by email that if my initial allegations re the Dillabaugh case were proven either Allenby or Ellerton had to go. If it is the former the shares are suspended and won’t come back. If it is the latter the sole witness for Sefton in its libel trial against me will have resigned in disgrace. So I have won. I gather that the Sefton board is meeting this afternoon so, one way or another, the AIM career of Hawaii Jim is almost over.

I have already popped over to the offices of uber expensive bully boy City lawyers Pinsent Masons , champagne in hand, to record two short videos and when they go live that will be it from me.

Publicly I have put a brave face on this battle and on the Sefton dirty tracks campaign. But it has been a strain.  I fear that there is not a cat in hell’s chance of me getting my costs back. Would I want to do this again or would I rather spend time with the bird, take up fishing again or do a bit of what I really want to do (goat farming)?

My priorities going forward are the restaurant, the UKInvestor Show, my partner (the deluded lefty) and my family, notably my step mother and ageing father - not necessarily in that order. As such the 666 shirt of investigative financial journalism united is (temporarily) retired. After today I shall confine my public comments on shares to my premium Nifty Fifty website. If you want to know my thoughts on shares pop along to Real Man Pizza and buy me a salad or subscribe to the Nifty Fifty

Shareprophets has 20 writers including younger investigative stars such as John Crawford and Ben Turney who I shall advise, if asked, but for now that is it from me on shares. The younger guys will take the battle against the AIM bad guys forward.  I have a book to write (on Sefton), articles to write for this website on West Ham, Greece and other really important matters and a life to lead.

Thanks for your support since this battle commenced. My 36 hour drinkathon now continues and anyone who fancies coming along to Real Man tonight after 6 is more than welcome.

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4128 days ago

Led astray at Real Man by the Irish bird and her pal with a ring in her nose

My partner’s parents would rather she had hooked up with a nice respectable dentist or accountant than with myself. I really don't blame them at all. And if they could only have seen the mayhem last night in The Corner of Clerkenwell that is Real Man Pizza their doubts and revervations would have gone off the Richter scale. Put it this way, I awoke to find myself lying fully clothed on a sofa just inside Real Man’s front door. I cannot remember how I got there and I do not feel terribly sharp today.

Colourful James was an early arrival at Real Man with two women in tow. As they sipped Camparis and James downed Curious lagers I stayed sober and responsible knowing that the CEO Of an AIM listed company was on his way for a catch up meal with me.  He duly arrived and we were joined by a colourful member of the PR community and four bottles of wine later we had put the world to rights.

They trundled off and I was just starting to think that I could do with a sleep when fifteen younger people turned up asking for a pizza. The pizzas flowed, the wine flowed, I was sucked into the conversation by an Irish bird and a bird with a ring in her nose which we all agreed she should remove. The dancing on the tables started, more wine flowed, the limoncella flowed…

And so today is a light blogging day.

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4138 days ago

IQE Trading update - as cheap as chips?

Shares in semiconductor wafer manufacturer and supplier IQE plc (IQE) have offered a volatile ride since I tipped them on my Nifty Fifty website at a 28.5p offer price in December – hitting 36.5p in January and February before falling back, particularly following some (what look misguided) competition concerns to commence the current month at just 18p. However, they have since recovered strongly and have nudged further higher today to 26.75p-27.25p on the back of a bullish update. They are still cheap.

I say that notwitstanding the fact that the PR bird for IQE is uber prudish Kay Larsen of College Group who thinks that I am a pornographer obsessed by sheep shagging.  Kay confuses goat milking with sheep shagging. She needs to get out more...

Anyhow, back to IQE who are based in Wales where no-one has ever molested a sheep.

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4152 days ago

Frigging hell it is 7.40 in Greece and where’s my breakfast?

The deluded lefty insists that she does not believe in patriarchy, blah, blah, blah. So we have an early morning arrangement that is based on equality and partnership – no exploitation either way. After a hard day’s slog in the public sector she stays in bed until about 7.30 and I make her a cup of tea. I get up rather earlier to be a wicked capitalist but just after 7.30 the DL brings me a bowl of organic fair trade porridge. I think I am right that oats do come from Scotland and Scotland is the sort of third world bankrupt country where deluded lefties try to help poor farmers with fair trade.

Anyhow my point is that I am used to the little woman serving me breakfast by 7.30. Yup, for the avoidance of doubt for any BB Morons out there, my partner is a bird not a bloke.

As such life chez Spiros here in Greece is a bit of a shock for me. I get up – as ever - at between 5.30 and 7 (3.30 and 5 UK time) allowing me to create a string of masterpieces before the UK starts its working day. Spiros, on the other hand displays the work ethic which has made Greece the place it is today (the Scotland of the South) and seems unable to raise himself before eight.

It is now 7.45 and, with five articles under my belt already, I am increasingly in need of a coffee and some toast and so now have to go through the ritual of jumping into the pool and splashing as much and as loudly as possible in order to hint, gently, that it is rise and shine time.  

Splish, splash, splosh, wakey, wakey Spiros!

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4155 days ago

Is where I have just been called a clip joint?

One of my ideas of purgatory is spending eternity driving around the centre of Athens trying to drop a hire car off on time. Amazingly I managed just that today with no problems. With a few hours to kill I asked the nice lady at Hertz where the British war graves were and she answered in a confident fashion. My father thinks his Uncle Francis is buried here although he was killed in North Africa and so off I wandered. It goes without saying that there were no War Graves at all where she sent me but that is another matter.

About half a mile along, in a decent part of Athens a man asked me for the time. I am a nice fellow so fished out my phone and said 4.01. He seemed terribly grateful and happy to meet an Englishman. His brother runs a Greek restaurant in London and please could he give me his address for a free meal.

I did not really want a free Greek meal in London and was rather more interested in the War Grave but he was insistent so I went along ruck sack over my shoulder and entered a small bar where there was one waitress, one young lady sitting reading a book and an Old Man. My old Man said “have a beer” and promptly disappeared. Have a seat said the waitress.

I reluctantly perched on a bar stool but assured her that I did not drink. At her insistence I agreed to have a diet Pepsi. At this point the young lady wandered over and in broken English tried to engage me in conversation.

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4170 days ago

The most pretentious corporate mission statement in history – Starcom MediaVest

I see via Linkedin that a foxy Greek bird who used to work for me has a new job and so I go to check out her new employer a firm called Starcom MediaVest which as far as I can see is something big in advertising. I could not fathom exactly what it does from its website  http://www.smvgroup.com but its mission statement “our purpose” is an absolute stormer. I reproduce it below. Try not to laugh too much at this classic piece of pretentious nonsense.

Our Purpose

SMG is the Human Experience Company. People and experiences are our purpose and the heart of our business.

Our Dream

We live to grow our clients’ businesses by transforming behavior through uplifting, meaningful Human Experiences.

Our Beliefs

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4174 days ago

Back at 2 AM from spending time at Islington Police Station

Nope, the BB morons have no reason to celebrate. I was not assisting the Old Bill with their enquiries. Nor was I being questioned for revealing who was shagging who in the Downing Street Affair. Instead…. Well it is a long story but it started mid-afternoon. I am starting to worry that I am not a complete bastard after all and can actually be a good guy on occasion. I may have to seek counselling from someone really bad and immoral. Where’s Colourful James when you need him most?

Mid-afternoon two ladies from Informa popped in to Real Man Pizza Company seeking prizes from local businesses for a charity raffle. Since I only support one charity (Woodlarks) my standard answer to such requests is No! But I found myself offering a prize of a meal for four. I clearly was on a slippery slope towards virtue.

And so after an evening of being exceptionally nice to everyone, sending staff home early so I could tend to the last few customers (two of whom hung around forever) I sat down fully intending to spend the whole night writing. But at midnight I heard the sound of banging on the shutters. I peered out and there was an Indian bird in obvious distress.  So I opened the door and through the shutter she said she needed to find a church to pray at, a priest to speak to and that the Catholic Church would put her up for the night as she was homeless but needed directions. Hmmm “We are a catholic restaurant hang on while I get an A-Z”

Before I knew it she was sitting inside Real Man and had made me turn off my music (AC DC by Joan Jett was playing at the time) and from my laptop she was playing her favourite hymn. She then explained

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4175 days ago

Nigella Lawson and that “playfull tiff” – what is it with the husbands of celebrity cooks?

The photos of Charles Saatchi grabbing domestic goddess Nigella Lawson by the throat are pretty shocking. He has apparently dismissed it as a “playfull tiff”. Hmmmm.

I have always had a soft spot for Nigella although I cannot say that her recipe books are the most thumbed in my library. I am very much a Darina Allen man. She too had a few problems with her other half when he was done for possessing er…inappropriate images, on his computer. I wonder if domestic goddesses always hook up with the wrong sort of man?

Naturally I do not count Delia in this category as my bookshelf would rather be seen containing hard core pornography or the collected works of Polly Toynbee than anything produced by the not so sober chanteuse from Norwich.

As for Miss Lawson? Well it seems that Mr Saatchi has manhandled her before in public. No doubt that was also a playful tiff. But I kind of think a true Goddess could do better. Okay, the guy might be very entertaining and absolutely minted but he does appear to be a total brute as well as a bit of a haggard old man. And at 97 or whatever the old dog is, he is not going to change his ways. Nigella is a good looking bird ( if perhaps she has eaten one too many of her 3 zillion calorie recipes), she seems quite sharp and I am sure she could do better.

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4177 days ago

Accosted by a foxy uber PR bird in Clerkenwell

Saturday is always our quietest day at Real Man Pizza, our Celtic Italian restaurant in Clerkenwell. Folks come in throughout the day but it is rarely hectic.  As it happens, despite the rain, it is far busier than usual today but still there is time for me to amble down the street to replenish my supplies of (legit) tobacco. Generally Saturday is a catch up on writing day.

As I ambled down the road wondering how I was to conclude my (poisonous) Conviction sell of the month for Spreadbet Magazine I heard a loud female voice saying “hello Tom.” Rather startled and not used to strange women greeting me as I ambled, looking a tad “casual” down the road I turned around as blond woman, stuck out her hand “Emma Kane, glad to meet you.”

Emma, is a local resident but has so far declined my offer to pop into Real Man perhaps aware that regular customers include Lucian Miers and Aubrey Brocklebank. For Emma is the head PR bird at Redleaf Polhill, employer of foxy Bex, and indeed stepped into the void when Bex was on hols to look after Cupid.  Emma is intelligent which among PR birds is a novelty but is she also psychic? Is she aware of what my sell of the month is?

Foxy Emma has promised to hook up at Real Man soon. I quickly scuttled back to finish my article on…..

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4178 days ago

West Ham Season Ticket Renewal…Against My Better Judgement

I truly dithered about this one but already I find myself looking forward to a new season at Upton Park. I guess it is like dating. You break up with your bird (not that I have, as far as I know) after 8 months of pain and anguish. You were not having fun for a lot of the time and frankly sometimes she was just taking the piss with the sheer misery she inflicted on you. And she was pretty expensive too. Having a season ticket at West Ham can be like being forced to spend most Saturday afternoons heading round a shopping centre being forced to buy new clothes for the bird or worse still for you and then afterwards having to go to some overpriced vegetarian, alcohol free restaurant. The sheer misery of it all is interrupted only briefly when you find a new Ramones T-shirt to buy to add to the collection. But it is a rare moment of joy.

I stress that my partner inflicts none of this on me but I know that some birds regard that sort of thing as fun. And watching West Ham, knowing that you have forked out £650 for a season ticket can be like that.  Jeepers. Losing at home to Wigan in the Carling Mickey Mouse Cup. That was torture. The game at Reading on 29th December will long stay in my mind as a masterclass in making a ninth rate team look like Brazil.  But: You are my West Ham, my only West Ham you make me happy when skies are grey you’ll never know how much I love you until you take my West Ham away.

And so after you split up with one bird and enjoy a short break of freedom, of being allowed to wear clothes with holes in them and of being able to wash up dishes before you eat rather than afterwards, what do you do?

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4185 days ago

Sacking someone after 5 minutes – a new record (in error) – washing up is men’s work?

This is all a bit embarrassing. I think I sacked the wrong person and did so five minutes into her career. But she had some funny views about women and washing up.  Anyhow.

The one English bird who works at Real Man said that she was going on holiday and might not come back. Then she said she was. Before she could change her mind again I arrived at the conclusion that her English attitude to work was rather grating. I am with John Bercow on this one and she was toast. And so I set out to replace her and adverts went up.

As per usual, not one Brit applied but instead a raft of degree educated Spaniards, Italians and Eastern Europeans. Two were summonsed in for interview and they look rather similar.  The Spanish one has poor English and has said that she will prove her worth, notwithstanding this, by working a week for free – she started yesterday. The Hungarian was set to start today.

At around 12 the latter turned up. I asked her to do a bit of washing up pro tem and she refused. “Washing up is men’s work” she insisted. I could see that we were not going to be soul mates. And as that was part of the job description as I had explained to her in full the day before I was a bit flummoxed.  And so I fired her, convinced that I had just fired the Spanish bird and wondering what the Hungarian would be like.

A few minutes later a woman with a strong Spanish accent popped in…”remember me?” er…cripes. I appear to have fired someone not after 1 day (unpaid) but after 5 minutes (unpaid). A new record. 

But I ask you dear reader, a woman who thinks that only men should do washing up?

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4187 days ago

Market Commentator or Maverick Share tipster? I'm with foxy Harriet

There is only one thing worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about. So said another writer of Irish descent, Mr Oscar Wilde.  Noting erroneous comments made on the ADVFN Bulletin Board a couple of monmths ago that I have lost my marbles as a result of frequenting gay bath-houses I should say that the similarities between mysef and Mr Wilde really do end there.

I see that while it in its latest misleading RNS Cupid PLC describes me as a market commentator the daily Telegraph takes a different view. My new best friend, foxy Fleet Street hackette Harriet Denys gave our AIM Cesspit awards a jolly decent write up in her City Diary column yesterday and describes me as a "maverick share tipster."

Hmmm.  Maverick was a classic TV show starring James Garner. I am horrified to see that it was shot before I was born so I guess I only saw re-runs but I was always a big fan of Garner, notably in the Rockford Files when he was also a bit of a maverick


I think I shall write to foxy PR bird Bex at Cupid and suggest that next time Cupid wishes to issue a misleading RNS about one of my articles they should refer to me as a "maverick market commentator." I like the sound of that.

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4188 days ago

Cupid you are talking bollocks

The last time that online dating service Cupid (CUP) commented on an article by me it just noted that it was comment. This time I have been promoted to the rank of “market commentator” in a statement out this afternoon. Next time? “the UK’s top investigative financial journalist?” Needless to say Cupid is talking utter bollocks and that makes its shares even more of a slam dunk short.

Its RNS is in response to an article I posted earlier HERE



Its statement reads: The Board of Cupid plc. has noted misleading comments posted by market commentators speculating that the Company’s cash position is markedly worse than reported in our RNS on March 25th.  For the avoidance of doubt the Board would like to make it clear to the market that we expect to have a positive EBITDA in Q2 and that our cash position at the end of June is expected to be in excess of £10m.

Ends.

I start at the end. I discussed its net cash position (net of trade payables minus trade receivables) as at July 3rd – ie after paying the dividend. I did not say that its cash position would be markedly worse at the end of June. Cupid knows this full well because

a) Its PR team lead by uber foxy Bex (happy birthday again BTW) read the final article when it came out



b) Bex read it before it went out as I sent it to her for comment. I took on board two points she made – as I made clear in the piece – but she did not dispute other facts.



Let us assume, to make this simple

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4188 days ago

Cupid shares tumbling - what is its cash position?

AIM Cesspit listed Cupid (CUP) shares are off again today at 52p. There are some folks who blather on about the yield of almost 6% and the strong cash balance. But what exactly is the cash balance? And is the dividend sustainable? Well let’s do some sums.


On March 25th the company stated that its cash position was £9 million. So far so good. However I note that tax payable at the yearend + trade payables minus trade receivables was c£4 million. So the real net cash position may well by March 25th have been as low as £5 million.  Foxy PR bird Bex who spins for Cupid points out that working capital could have moved either way between December 31 and March 25. So the real net cash position at March 25 could be higher. Or lower. We just do not know.


By the way, Happy Birthday Bex.



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4193 days ago

Where is foxy PR bird Bex of Cupid fame?

I have noted before that foxy PR bird Rebecca Sanders-Hewett (Bex) knows how to pick ‘em when it comes to clients from the Cesspit. Not only does she spin (i.e. not return phone calls) for Quindell but also for Cupid as well in her capacity as a PR fluffy at Redleaf Polhill.

I do hope that all is well with Bex as I note that while her name appears on the latest hot air release from Quindell it appears not to be on the profits warning release from Cupid – where the team is now fronted up by the top PR spinner at Redleaf, Ms Emma Kane.

Does Bex only do good news releases? Does Cupid feel that it needs a true heavy hitter on board and that Bex is just too soft and cute to deal with nasty writers like myself who are not intimated by threats of legal action and continue to warn that the shares are a sell? Will Emma, unlike foxy Bex, return phone calls or is it Redleaf company policy not to speak to journalists who do not kiss PR arse and ask awkward questions?

Anyhow best wishes to foxy Bex. I know that she is a keen reader of this blog so now that she has a bit more time on her hands maybe she might send me a full list of companies that she personally acts for. I wonder if she only acts for screaming shorts? I’d like to find out.

Meanwhile you can read my thoughts of a few days ago on Quindell ( a sell) HERE and a piece today on why Cupid shares should plunge from 61p to 10p in due course HERE

Hang in there Bex

 

T

xxx

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4290 days ago

Just how useless and thick are some PR birds?

I am calling from the ADVFN newspaper – I am going to write a piece there on your client What is ADVFN said the PR bird? Jesus wept. A FTSE 250 listed company is paying this bird’s firm £10,000 a month to handle its financial public relations and she has never heard of what is the UK’s largest financial website with 3 million views a month. I ended up having to spell ADVFN to her.

I will not name the company that employs this bint but truly it is pissing its money away. For £10,000 a month you expect a modicum of knowledge of the financial markets. I don’t expect the bird to read ADVFN but not to have heard of it? She is probably a looker and a very charming bird but still…

And now I am about to have lunch with a PR bird who is a looker but is certainly not thick.

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4294 days ago

Advanced Computer Software – Does a £44 million placing make any sense?

Advanced Computer Software (ASW), arguably the best run buy and build software services group in London, has announced a £44 million placing at 80p. Post the completion of that placing Advanced will have (according to its house broker) net cash of £42 million and credit lines available to it of £74 million to make acquisitions. But in the absence of such deals on the table right now, the issue is dilutive so are investors buying a pig in a poke?

According to the house broker Arden Partners, if Advanced’s CEO Vin Murria makes no acquisitions the effect on earnings per share of this placing is to reduce the February 28th 2014 forecast from 4.9p to 4.5p and the 2015 forecast from 5.2p to 4.7p. Arden forecasts earnings of 4.5p this year ( up from 4.2p last). But to assume such numbers is to bet against Murria who, quite simply, has the best track record in buy and build in UK software services. She is a bird worth backing and following.

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4365 days ago

How do you deal with a “Jewish Conspiracy” person?

You meet someone. You get on fine enough. They seem tolerant, interesting and then…”It’s the Jews, they pull all the strings.” What do you say? How do you react? Clearly they cannot be a reader of this blog if the run that line past me.

There is the short term and the long term. I once dated a bird and got along well until she tried to explain that the number of Jews killed in the holocaust was greatly exaggerated and it was really all part of a plot by the Jews to secure a homeland. I did not try to argue. But that was it for that relationship. There are some boundaries you cannot cross.

My short term reaction was to go for a cigarette. Leaving the room allowed me to calm down and to think about what to say. I returned calmly and said that I had a problem with that. I was asked if I was Jewish. Aaaaaagh.

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4370 days ago

Access Intelligence: Shoot the dog or follow the bird in charge?

Shares in AIM-listed governance, risk and compliance software provider Access Intelligence (LSE:ACC) have yet to really spark since I recommended them on t1ps, the website I founded in 2000 and edited until September of this year, in November 2010 at 4.25p. They have traded briefly above 5p since but fell to lows of 2.25p a year ago. They have subsequently recovered somewhat and a material director share purchase announced today sees the shares currently trading more than 11% ahead on the day at a 3.75p share price. The following reviews this further and takes a look at the current investment case…

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