1795 days ago
I was nine when the first Star Wars film came out and almost ever since I have been a true groupie. I have seen every film, in the case of the original three, dozens of times. I have Star Wars Trivial Pursuit which I should warn you all that I am rather good at. There was even a vague attempt to include in my daughter’s names Leia but I am afraid that the Force was not with me in that battle. And thus my daughter and I headed off yesterday to see the final instalment of this nine movies phenomenon, the Rise of Skywalker.
2493 days ago
Julie Meyer of Ariadne (not Ariadne Capital as it is in administration) but the Group, whatever that is, has hired a "disaster containment" PR firm which is calling reporters today to "set the record straight.". I have had my call.
3084 days ago
Our Bothan spies have again risked life and liberty to bring hot news from the Evil Empire to rebel outposts in Clerkenwell and Greece. It appears that all is not well at the Death Star. Having promised that it had "sold" 10,000 tickets to its Master Investor conference - though the venue had a capacity of fewer than 3,000 - our spies brought you photos of plenty of empty seats. Following on from that horrendeous PR and trading disaster, we now hear that freelance stormtroopers have been told they are to get pay cuts of up to 60%. Ouch. We guess that will mean only 12 pieces of silver for some folk.
3478 days ago
There is good in everybody. As the Death Star implodes the escape capsules are being launched. Stormtrooper Stewart Dalby, the founder of oilbarrel.com is pitching up at Proactive Investors to launch oilcapital.com. That rather suggests that the Evil Empire's oilbarrel operation is 100% toast. But there are other escape capsules being launched and one is heading the way of a secret rebel alliance base ...
3494 days ago
As the death star implodes our Bothan spies have given us news of where most of the former stormtroopers are heading but cloaked by the dark side of the Force, the next destination for Sith Lord Zak Mir seems shrouded in mystery. But the Bothans have picked up on one little nugget.
3494 days ago
With all stormtroopers bar one now working out their notice – or having already jumped on board an escape capsule – from the imploding Death Star, that is Jim Mellon’s asset stripped media business, the question is what happens next?
4112 days ago
It is a fight to the death and it was hand to hand stuff on the front line today. For the Evil Empire Emperor Ellerton moved off the beaches of Hawaii and flew (at Sefton shareholder expense) to California. That left newly appointed company Secretary and IR genius Doc Gopher Green to lead the counter attack from his personal Shareprice death star.
Some of the Imperial strormtroopers in the BB Moron brigade of the Sefton army were hoping for a statement refuting weekend allegations, broadcast across the Galaxy by the rebel alliance. But that was not possible as the company is not in a position to refute anything. So instead Doc Gopher briefed a number of BB loons with the line: “all Sefton directors have been fully vetted by different nomads and nothing was found awry.”
That, of course, is NOT the same as a denial. Doc Gopher is not THAT stupid. And it is also meaningless as one of the Nomads immediately came forward and revealed to the intelligence officer of the Rebel Alliance that it had indeed commissioned independent due diligence on the Sefton board but that it was told that Ellerton/Dillabaugh was a personal matter and that Sefton did not disclose the Court case to it at all. Thus this did not feature in the due diligence.
Han Solo (played by Daniel Levi) then revealed that the non-execs on the Imperial board had now commissioned an independent enquiry into the activities of Darth Ellerton relating to the Ellerton case. And
