1088 days ago
Yes, dear daughter, you shall go to the Women’s Euros along with myself and Lucian Miers, the normal West Ham supporting team. But this time we shall be joining the GAWA, that is to say we are off to see Northern Ireland take on Norway who are rather good. I fear the worst, but we must all travel in hope in the Green & White Army.
2352 days ago
One of the joy's of being in Shipston with my father is getting to answer the phone for him. "Is that Tom Winnifrith?" says someone from the numerous virtue signalling charities run by legions of grossly overpaid Guardian readers, who he supports with his cash. Truthfully I answer "yes." I am then treated to a long spiel about all the valuable work they are doing out in bongo bongo land followed by an appeal for an increased monthly donation.
2529 days ago
A couple of weeks ago BBC Question Time went to Barnsley in the Grim North and among its audience of hand picked members of Momentum was the lass below Samanatha Thompson who bleated on about how she and her family had to use food banks and this was a sign of wicked Tory austerity causing rising poverty, blah, blah, blah. I gather that Samantha has taken offence at some Tory councillor who noted that for someone claiming to be on the brink of starvation she is, to put it bluntly, very fat indeed. Miss Piggy reckons that this is offensive and wants an apology and maybe in these PC free speech denying times the poor chap will be forced by his party to grovel. Since I have no such pressure I say "Miss Piggy your are a fat blubbermonster and if you find that offensive how about you eat less and stop looking quite so much like a beached whale? Of course this story gets more ridiculous.
3922 days ago
The Winter Olympics is being heralded as a triumph for Team GB and if only we spend even more we are promised even greater glory in 2018 in Korea. Yeah…bollocks.
The claim is that with four medals these were the most successful games for us Brits since the first Winter Olympics in Chamonix in 1924. Er…meet medal inflation.
In 1924 there were 16 events and with one join bronze awarded the UK picked up 4 medals out of a total of 49 medals awarded. That works out at roughly 1 in 12 medals going back to Blighty.
In 2014 there were 98 events (12 more than in 2010) which makes 296 medals awarded so team GB in fact picked up one in 74 medals. As in the book by the Great Melanie Phillips, “All Must have Prizes,” Team GB was six times less successful in 2014 than we were in 1924. Keep on adding the events and Team GB might win 5 next time. How about that new winter sport: The 100 metre swim through icy sewerage to reach the village store? I gather that the Somerset County squad is pretty experienced.
The problem Team GB will have is that we do not get much snow in the UK so for most winter sports the only kids growing up to play will be the offspring of the very rich who spent the winter in the folk’s chalet in Chamonix. And then there is also curling which rivals whingeing about English oppression and trying to die as young as possible by gorging on Deep Fried mars Bars, pints of Heavy and Benson & Hedges as the national sports of Scotland. A post-independence GB
