Birds

670 days ago

Cross dressing Sir Grayson Perry & BBC Radio 4 on the shame of being English

Cross dressing artist Grayson Perry graced BBC Radio 4’s flagship “Today” programme this morning and engaged in a wide ranging chat with the sycophantic presenters. If he goes to the Coronation he intends to wear a dress he said. I bet the ranch he is exactly the sort of chap who will be invited by woke King Charles to show the diverse nature of a modern Britain.  So what if 99.5% of chaps opt not to dress as birds ( a word now set to be banned so I shall use it more often), it is important to invite as many of the 0.5% as possible to show what Britain really looks like. And that brought us to discussing regions and the four home nations.

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1161 days ago

Calling Women “birds” is sexist says out of touch Judge John Crosfill

Thank heavens I don’t employ any pieces of skirt, as I must now refer to birds, following Judge John Crosfill ruling today that using the phrase “birds” is sexist. Whatever. I have been using it for years and have no intention of stopping. What is more telling for me is just how out of touch Crosfill is with how the world, my world, of the City actually works. Let me explain why Crosfill, in ruling for plaintiff Anca Lacatus, shows that he should be put out to grass.

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2350 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Despite being a staunch feminist, I reckon the birds who run FootAsylum must be fired NOW!

I explain why the FD and CEO of FootAsylum (FOOT) must be fired at once after today's profits warning. I forgot to say that any company holding and announcing an "analyst teach in" - as Rob Terry used to do - is almost an automatic sell in my book and FootAsylum is an offender in this respect. I also look at FastForward (FFWD) and explain why I think Jim Mellon has sinned, albeit legally. I cover UK Oil & Gas (UKOG), Andalas (ADL) and McCarthy & Stone (MCS). In terms of the walk we are now well over £9,000 with gift aid and ahead of a training walk in the rain tonight I ask again. Most bearcast listeners are enjoying my suffering but are yet to help Woodlarks with a donation. Please, I am sure you can spare a tenner HERE

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3078 days ago

Visit to Paddy Leigh Fermor's House part 3 - My father holds Court

And so our party finally made it through the large blue door which marks the entrance to the house that Paddy built in Kardamili. Turning right along a terrace open on one side we found ourselves with the rest of the group in the library. This was all rather different from the Greek Hovel.

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4143 days ago

Greece – The Czech Waitress Question: This place is bonkers

Last night out waitress was a sweet trainee speech therapist from the Czech Republic.  A couple of days ago we gave a lift to two Hungarian birds who were also spending the summer working as waitresses. In fact this place is crawling with Eastern European birds working in bars and cafes.  Yet, in three weeks I have barely encountered any young Greeks working as waitresses outside family run establishments. Youth unemployment here is 65%. Go figure.

I know that the Easter Europeans are working in the black economy and are staying in not great places happy to make a few Euro, enjoy afternoons on the beach and to bunk up with the odd other young person who is passing through. But …

There is something chronically wrong with an economy which sees these folks working while 65% of young Greeks sit on their arses, sipping frappes, living at home, not working but collecting benefits which ( since Greece is bust) come effectively from the taxpayers of Northern Europe.

The solution? Might I suggest that from April to October Greek youngsters under 25 should not be allowed to claim benefits and at the same time any Greek under 25 ( who has been unemployed for three months previously) be allowed to work outside of the tax system ( for both employer and employee). It would save Greece ( i.e. the Northern European taxpayer) a stack of cash, might instil the work ethic in a generation that has otherwise lost it and, frankly, it would be less galling for Northern Europeans as we pay over the odds for our Greek salads from our after tax income.

Will it happen? No chance. This country is bonkers and happy to enjoy the frappe lifestyle at the expense of others.

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4152 days ago

My bird wants a new name - any ideas?

The bird says that describing her as the Deluded Lefty is unfair. Hmmmm she is a lefty and all lefties are? Er? Go on?

However, I now need a new term to describe her. The bird? She is a looker but I wonder if her, ahem, DL friends might regard that as patriachal or whatever. The little woman? She is a woman and she is not very tall.  My partner? Then all the BB Morons will insist that she is a bloke. Girlfriend? Are we not a bit too old to be a boyfriend and girlfriend?

The Northern Bird? NB for short. Just to show how open minded I am that I spend my time with a Northerner. Any improvements on The Northern Bird?

Nope, the Northern Bird says that this makes it sound like she is from Lancashire. Apparently she thinks Nottingham is in the Midlands - I really lose track of how the welfare dependent, post-industrial hell hole counties of England view themselves. She says all adjectives are unhelpful so she will from now onwards just be the bird.

I sense that I too may be in the doghouse

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4155 days ago

The Bulletin Board Morons – They do not like it up ‘em

I see that my recent articles on Bulletin Board Morons have unleashed a firestorm of anonymous abuse various from Bulletin Board Morons. As I wandered along the beach and enjoyed a very nice grilled octopus lunch I pondered whether the morons have a point? For about five seconds.

The morons of course never post under their own names and then proceed to say whatever they wish. If I had a penny for every time I had received abuse from the morons over the years I could buy half of Greece. Perhaps these days I could pick up the whole country. Hidden behind the mask of anonymity they say what they like.

That is fine by me. Airstrip One is a free country. Well sort of. But please do not expect me to regard dishing out abuse without revealing your identity as courageous in any way.

Among writers (i.e. those who earn money from writing in their own name) I am a little unusual in that I am happy to dish out the abuse back. I do so in my own name. And sometimes in quite a witty manner. The BB Morons however think that this is all shocking.
Some feel I should show bravery by going onto BB threads and posting as myself. Hmmmmm.

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4238 days ago

Getting Life in balance – time for a Holiday

I have not had a holiday since last summer and I am absolutely shattered – mentally and physically. And so my partner (whom some of you met at UKInvestor Show) and I are off to Greece for a week or two – as a liberated woman employed by the State it is only fair that she pays. Naturally I shall write for a few hours a day but mostly this is swimming, walking & winding down. It’s time to think.

You have to learn your lessons and

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4264 days ago

Checking out the Birds in Swindon

I found myself changing trains at Swindon yesterday and had about ten minutes to wait and was captivated by the birds. That is not to say a new generation of the Melinda Messenger’s but the swallows.  The skies above the station were dark with a swirling, boiling mass of them flying in seemingly precise formations to create ever changing cloud patterns in the sky. 

Seemingly two “clouds” can crash into each other at great speed but no birds collide and a new cloud pattern forms. The picture below is not the greatest and cannot capture the speed at which the cloud patterns changed, but it was truly captivating. I was almost sorry when my train arrived and I had to stop watching.

PS. Darren says "I've heard that this is a non-water example of fluid dynamics. Each bird is concerned only about itself not crashing into its neighbour, the macro result being waves.". Whatever..it is a spellbinding sight.

 

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4406 days ago

America’s Victoria – Cute Conservative Student Blogger with Attitude - Occupy parody video

When I was young, it was not exactly cool to be right wing. I cannot believe that Call Me Dave is making it terribly cool to be a conservative today. I suspect the cool line is to be apolitical whether of the left or right.

But, having discovered our own Victoria in the UK – a female student of a conservative bent who writes some cracking stuff on the evils of affirmative action, I now bring you Republican Girl Probs – a US conservative student. Not perhaps, by her own admission, the greatest singer on this planet but she is a quite cute bird and the video is funny.

But for a pretty decent “Call Me Maybe” parody aimed at the Occupy movement watch this:

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4414 days ago

The Husband Application Form from Victoria

I find myself once again drawn to the blog of politically switched on first year student blogger Victoria by her article “Husband Application Form.” Before you accuse me of having John Peel-esque tendencies I stress that I read on only in the interests of research. Damn. That did not help Pete Townshend. Anyhow I digress.

I am, as it happens, not drawn to women too young (or to old) to name all the members of Blur or to be able to remember where they wept the day Margaret Thatcher was ousted by the Euro traitors and where they celebrated the sinking of the Belgrano.

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4429 days ago

Scrumptious pouting hackette Harriet Denys of the Telegraph – Dinner Invitation (Please say yes)

It seems that scrumptious pouting hackette Anna White of the Telegraph City Diary is absent on maternity leave until August 2013. How she will be missed. But her successor, Ms Harriet Denys seems to follow in Anna’s ways and also cannot stop herself from writing about me. She seems to have picked up on yesterday’s More Jam Vicar piece and today posts:

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4434 days ago

Harriet Harman knows best in the bedroom and elsewhere

In her Labour conference speech today Harriet Harman ( class warrior educated at St Paul’s School for Girls) devoted most of her tedious diatribe to attacking young ladies who did not enjoy her privileged upbringing but earn a good whack as page 3 birds . Privileged Harman wishes to deny them that opportunity while telling the rest of us what we can or cannot read in a newspaper. But of course like all good lefties she knows best.

But to lighten the tone she also discussed want she wants in a man.

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4497 days ago

Albania and Islam – not downtown Tehran or the Whitechapel Road: The short skirt test

This is nominally a Muslim country – 80% of the population are believers in Islam with the rest split between Orthodox Christianity and Catholicism. But most surveys show that the vast majority of Albanians, including Miss Albania pictured above, do not really care. But you cannot avoid the symbols of Islam, even if its effect is hard to see. As I arrived at Sarandra the building that stood out among the 6-8 story blocks that make up the City was the minaret of the Mosque. And, however many times a day it is, the Imam calls the faithful to prayer over loudspeakers. Not with much effect.

The behaviour of the folk here would shock any resident of Tehran or Whitechapel. In three days I have seen one woman wearing a Hajib. But I have also seen one shop selling the sort of ladies underwear that leaves very little to the imagination and which, I imagine, will not be opening up a second outlet in Cairo, Bagdhad or Gaza City any time soon.

On the beach women go topless although that tends to be when lying face down on a sun lounger, in the sea modesty is preserved. But the young ladies wander around in the sort of short skirts you associate with Geordie lasses on a night on the town

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4503 days ago

Debt Bomb – Great Video – well done Dominic Frisby

I occasionally exchange tweets with Dominic Frisby – mining commentator and comedian. So, as he will read this, anyone there is no need for me to tweet him to say that his latest video is wonderful. I am not sure why the birds have to end up partially clad but since I am unlikely to be hired as the dress code advisor to the Saudi Arabian women’s Olympic team (the token two) there are no great objections on that score. The lyrics are superb. And the point is, of course, bang on the – soon to be utterly denuded – fiat money. Congratulations Dominic. Enjoy.

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4510 days ago

A question about sunbathing

I have never really got into sunbathing and still do not get it. As someone with fair skin the annual two weeks in the sun sees me either retain my natural whiter shade of anaemic white or turn lobster red. There is no real in between stage. Some folks manage to pick up a sensible tan quite easily – I just do not get it. But I am trying and am slowly turning from my normal white to a darker shade of white. In the end my one hour a day will get me there. But something confuses me about those who just lie on the beach all day.

Why they are not burned to a crisp confuses me. I cannot think that it is good for them. But what really baffles me is why they do not get bored. Lying in the sun doing nothing for eight hours would not only turn me into a crisp but just drive me insane. There are articles to write, folks to chat to, things to see and do. Yet I see grown men and women just lie there.

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4511 days ago

Incentives & Just Greed and Dilution at Mission Marketing

I see that AIM listed Mission Marketing (TMMG) is screwing its shareholders today but of course it announces it in a way that makes you think that the company is doing you a favour. I am not sure about the fundamentals here (although superficially they look attractive) but any company that is addicted to systematically transferring value from shareholders to senior staff is not one that I would feel compelled to own shares in. Having said that this stock was tipped just 5 months ago at 19.125p on t1ps.com so, we are already 46% ahead on that t1p. Not bad. However, the statement reads:

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